Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Why Christmas Is So Deadly

In addition to being the time of lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you, Christmas turns out to be the most lethal day of the year. By a long shot. Followed by New Year’s Day. Followed by the other 363 days of the year, more or less in a heap, though the rate slopes up for a few weeks pre-Xmas, then sinks after the big day.

sepkowik-xmas-heartattack-tease

Corbis

The observation was made several times in the last decade or so, first with cardiac diseaseâ€"the so-called Merry Christmas Coronary (here and here)â€"and then with other diseases, with increasingly incontrovertible data. Scrooge rules. The one that clinched it was carried out by a team of sociologists in balmy, non-Christmas-y La Jolla, Calif.: “Christmas and New Year as Risk Factors for Death.” They took 25 years of death certificates (about 57 million deaths) and plotted out each dead-on-arrival or died-in the-emergency-room death, according to the Julian day-at-a-time calendar. According to their way of slicing up the bad news, thousands more people over the years have died on these two holidays than on any other day. (The graphs tell the story quickly.) That’s a lot of bereft holiday families.

The initial explanation from many, and one favored by the you-are-what-you-eat-people, is this: citizens stuff their yuletide faces on Christmas and somehow this hardens the arteries in short order, not unlike the ice-nine of Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle. This surely makes sense to all of us who have feasted to within an inch of our life, but then again maybe notâ€"what about the other Great American Days of Gluttony: Thanksgiving? Super Bowl Sunday? Perhaps Mother’s Day? (OK, maybe appetites are lost there.) What about Fourth of July, that hot-dog-consumption apogee? Though tempting at first glance, this one sinks pretty easily on the simple logic that the Christmas feast is not unique enough to drive such a one-day death spike.

And while we’re at it, let’s agree to dismiss cold weather and shoveling snow on the same groundsâ€"not unique to Christmas.

So what about blaming family? You knowâ€"stress, that explanation so beloved by shrinks and shrink-ish people. Seeing the family surely feels lethal some years. Plus cousins’ cousins who married more distant cousins and moved to New Jersey because of the real-estate taxes that they want to review with you. In detail. And the cost of converting their garage to a den. Including the effect on the property value when last assessed by the county guy whom they know from their kid’s school.

Admittedly, this is about enough to kill a guy, but how different really is the onslaught compared to other family-enriched holidays? And can stressâ€"this sort of stressâ€"really kill? I mean, this is not stress really but annoyance, boredom, and need for oxygenâ€"but not drop-dead heart attack territory just because your wife’s nephew won a MacArthur Genius award and you have to hear about how surprised they all were! We never knew what he was doing! And now they call him a genius! Oh my! Close yesâ€"but not fatal. Once again, the burden of Christmas is simply not unique.

According to experts, the door-to-balloon time should be 90 minutes or less because a longer delay can result in permanent damage to the heart. It is likely that a similar phenomenon of expedience translating into better health governs other diseases as well. To translate this to Christmas-ese, shrugging off that chest pain for an hour or two or three just to maintain family serenity moves someone well outside the optimal door-to-balloon time. And the longer the time from symptoms to treatment, the higher the death rate.

What about the possibility that American health care doesn’t suck?

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